Other: Introduction to a Book I Want to Write.
It’s time to come clean about something. It’s a little embarrassing, what with us being neighbours for so long and all, but sooner or later, you were going to find out anyways, and at least this way, you find out from us.
So here goes.
You know how
Sorry about that.
You may be looking at an atlas if you have one and saying things like, “But Canada has lots and lots of towns! And a city!” Well, sure, but we’re the ones who call them that.
One of the first steps to healing the damage you’ve caused in a relationship is admitting when you’ve lied, confronting that lie, and apologising to those you’ve lied to. So here goes:
We understand: why should you trust us now, now that you know we’ve lied to you in such a heinous fashion? We know that trust must be earned, not demanded. And so I, as a representative of this beautiful, empty land, offer this revelation and testament of what life is really like north of the 49th parallel.
Let the healing begin.
 Maybe 325 by the time this is published. Hi, Shoko! Hope to see your baby soon!
 Not that I’m saying if you don’t have one you’re stupid! It’s okay if you don’t; lots of people don’t, and I’m sure some of them are smart.
 Appendix A
 See the section on our government for how I was given this noble duty.