November 22, 2010

Fight the Real Enemy

This day in Whoops!

A New Jersey pastor who banned church staff from using Facebook, claiming it leads to infideity, admitted to having group sex with his wife and another couple.

Seriously, Facebook to hook up with 'old flames'? Why would you bother with that when there are so many other sites that have people on them without whatever baggage you've left behind?

I know the idea of finding lovers from the past, but I do believe in letting the past remain its own country, too. Whoever is back there has changed from when you knew them last: you know, the whole "a man cannot cross the same river twice" thing.

That being said, if you're trying to get out of a relationship, it's certainly one way to find a convenient excuse. The problem is that it's just an excuse, not a cure. The change has to come from you, for your reasons, or it just ain't gonna work.


posted by Thursday at 5:02 pm 0 comments

November 17, 2010

On Impoliteness

There are many ways to kill yourself. I'm given to understand that most are horribly painful/nauseating (for reference, see Dorothy Parker's Resume), but at least they're private. Really, if you're going to put yourself out of whatever misery you think you're in, have the decency to wander off into the woods well away from anyone else, would you?

Oh, and could you be good enough to call the police and tell them what you're going to do immediately before you do it? I take my dog walking in the woods around here a lot, and frankly my day would be pretty much shot if I found a human body while exploring. That's how most "dumped" bodies are found, so why not be a good sort and get the professionals to find your miserable corpse first, hey?

I bring this up because there have been two incidents this week of people running at cars on the highway in apparent efforts to kill themselves, and this latest one had a small child watch as he tried killing himself. Sorry, but that's a NO! Bad drunk/drugged/depressed inconsiderate dickweed! There is no reason to put someone through watching someone die violently on the grill of their car.

If you want to kill yourself, fine: that's your choice, and it's a shame you feel that way because it's a long-term solution to what's usually a short-term problem as well as being astoundingly selfish and greedy, but it's ultimately up to you. But for crying out loud, try not to have seven year old girls involved, okay?


posted by Thursday at 9:32 pm 0 comments

November 05, 2010

Ban 55-Year Old Americans!

Does the man on the right look 55 years old to you?

Because that's what the man on the left claimed he was when boarding an Air Canada flight out of Hong Kong last week. The Asian man wore a latex mask after passing through customs with his own name and passport and just before boarding the flight. Current speculation is that the older man was an accomplice, and that the two simply switched boarding passes while waiting; but he also could have targeted an older gentleman and stolen the pass at a moment of opportunity. It's not as likely because of the Aeroplan card, but still possible.

This con doesn't concern me much for a few reasons:

1) As good as the mask was, there is no way he could have avoided detection for the entire 14 hour flight. A mask like that is not only hot and stinky, the skin under it will itch like hell very quickly and simply drive whoever's under it insane. Add to that the spirit gum peeling off, the long time it takes to apply these masks on your own, and the familiarity that the cabin staff has with their passengers (far more than the gate staff who will see a person once) and they will get busted before getting to their destination. His hands, for instance, had already been noticed by flight staff.

2) Coming from Hong Kong and applying for refugee protection? Frankly, I can't say I blame him: I can't think of a totalitarian dictatorship that I wouldn't have been killed by or jailed in before I was twenty. I think I'd want to leave by any means, too!

3) The guy's got moxie. This isn't something most people would be able to pull off, and frankly I'm impressed. He wants to make a refugee claim? Go for it: if he qualifies, let him in. I like people who have this kind of drive!

It will be interesting to see what the reaction to this will be Down South (CNN broke the story first): I fully expect hyperbolic panic about terrorism and how weak Canada is on threats coming from outside their borders and a resurgence of that old canard about the 9/11 terrorists coming from Canada etc etc etc. How much attention do you think will be paid to the possible accomplice, an American citizen who gave him the boarding pass and Aeroplan card.

Clearly, we're going to have to subject people who claim to be American citizens to greater security measures. For their own protection, you understand.


posted by Thursday at 10:47 am 0 comments

November 02, 2010

Just Sayin'

With the November Elections up and underway down South, it's odd to know who to blame for the lack of results coming out of the Obama administration this year:

Is it:

A) Not doing anything;
B) Not telling people what was done;
or C) People ignoring accomplishments in favour of sound bites?

I'm going with C.

This was the busiest first two years of any President in decades; yet no one seems to know it. Truly bizarre especially when compared with the utterly inert G.W. Bush who needed planes to hit buildings before he got off his ass and did something: he spent a total of three months at his ranch in Texas "on vacation" in 2001 alone, though not a whole lot was done when he was "on the job" for that first year, either.

Good luck, and stay sane.


posted by Thursday at 12:01 pm 0 comments